


Melting

by fannishliss



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-05
Updated: 2012-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-26 15:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Traveling with the Dimension Cannon, Rose nearly always finds the Doctor — just not the one she's looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Melting

**Title: Melting**  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: 1317  
Pairings or Characters: Four/Rose, Cloen/Rose  
Warnings: none  
Summary: Traveling with the Dimension Cannon, Rose nearly always finds the Doctor — just not the one she's looking for.

Author's Note: This is the longer version of [a ficlet ](http://fannishliss.livejournal.com/116345.html)written for [](http://who-contest.livejournal.com/profile)[**who_contest**](http://who-contest.livejournal.com/) [drabble challenge # 8: Cold](http://who-contest.livejournal.com/54844.html).  It's also for [](http://jessalrynn.livejournal.com/profile)[**jessalrynn**](http://jessalrynn.livejournal.com/) , who wanted "any previous Doctor/Rose: he's trapped, Rose knows who he is and saves him, and there's an attempt at seduction."   I also want to acknowledge [](http://haveloved.livejournal.com/profile)[**haveloved**](http://haveloved.livejournal.com/), who made the brilliant connection between Rose's adventures with the Dimension Cannon and John Smith's memories of Rose always walking away.  This is another time Rose walked away.

 

===  
No one at Torchwood could explain why the dimension cannon worked at all, much less why it only worked for her.  It drew its power from the Void, its direction from her desire. And the only thing Rose Tyler wanted was to find the Doctor.  So, again and again, she did.

*

She fell into a nondescript hallway, urgency gnawing at the pit of her stomach. He was in trouble.  

She hurried toward the pull of him — behind that door — deadbolted.  She drew the bar and threw it open: deep freeze unit.  

Huddled in a corner, hat pulled low, long scarf wrapped tight around and around his body, her Time Lord was slumped.  He was icy to the touch — wounded? starving?  Stiff with frost, he'd fallen into a regenerative coma from which he might never have emerged.  

She got an arm under him and lifted, half dragging him into the hallway outside. He was big and weighed more than she was used to.

She propped him up against the wall, pressing her warm hands to his icy face, breathing onto his rugged features.  "It'll be okay, Doctor," she mumbled, more to herself than to him.  

At last, the frost on his features melted away, and the blue eyes snapped open.  "Rose," he groaned.    

How could he know her name?   She started back.  She should leave — he'd recover on his own, now he'd awakened.  This wasn't the Doctor she was looking for.  

"No," he groaned again, trying to reach for her.  "So cold."

She missed him so much.  She'd seen other versions of him before, always from a distance.  How could she pull away now, now that she was already so close, touching him, helping him when he needed her?  If she hadn't saved him, how had he survived?  Surely one more minute wouldn't matter?

She tugged open her jacket and snuggled in against him, shivering, sharing her human warmth, breathing in his musky honey scent: comfort, belonging, home. His arms closed stiffly around her.  His heartbeats were sluggish and slow, off-rhythm. He'd very nearly died in there.  How many regenerations might he have used up, locked in a cold steel box with no way out?

"How long since you've eaten?" she murmured, her mouth near his ear, nose tickled by curly brown locks.

"Weeks," he said, and coughed a little. Voice getting stronger, he elaborated, "Smugglers knocked me on the head, chucked me in the freezer.  I ran out of jelly babies."

"I've got energy bars," she said, smiling.  Nothing he hated more — the face on him, chewing remorsefully in some dank prison, before they managed a breakout, complaining about soy, and carob, and peanuts, and sawdust.  Oh, it hurt sometimes, to laugh.  

"Tea?" he said hopefully. She shook her head lightly, intent on breathing him in while she had the chance.  

"Can't have everything, I suppose," he sighed, and his arms tightened around her.  

Just a few more moments, she bargained, wouldn't hurt anything.  Right?

"I know who you are," he whispered.  

Despite the great comfort of his embrace, she pulled back in alarm.   "Isn't that a paradox?"

"No," he denied with great satisfaction, blue eyes already regaining their twinkle.   "You're no paradox — you're the one constant!  the one thing I've always, always known — precious girl, valiant child, Bad Wolf— " Blue eyes open wide, his teeth gleamed in a big smile.

"But he — you — never said..."  Rose whispered, frowning with the effort of figuring him out.

"Must've locked it away.  Sad, that."  His mad, brilliant eyes beamed upon her. "You're the light of my lives — though I take it you're in some distress right now—"

She couldn't admit that she'd lost him, fearing the consequences.

"Sh," he whispered, laying his finger on her lips.  "It'll be be all right in the end, my dearest — our bond assures me of that."

"Bond?" Rose echoed, shocked.  

"Gallifreyans mate for life," he whispered, heatedly, "and due to our somewhat complicated nature, the bond resonates through all our lives.  It will be so — and even if —or when —  I've made myself forget, it's always been so."

She saw in his arrogant smile the cheeky, indomitable creature he'd once been, before the Wars had shattered him, and she'd come along to help him realign the pieces.  

"Always the same man, my love," he whispered, velvety, into her ear.  

She shuddered, suddenly wanting him, needing him down to her bones.

"I'd like it, very much, if I could kiss you," he muttered.  

She didn't waste any time in answering, but pressed her lips to his, drinking in the unique flavor of him — different — but somehow the same.  His mouth claimed hers as rightfully his own, his hands sure and knowing as he stroked her beneath her coat.  He was quickly warming up, his hearts beating strongly now against her.  

"I've loved you so much, for so long," he groaned, "to have you in my arms, and the bond not complete — it's maddening!  How could I have held you, and held back —" He kissed her again and again, fierce, possessive kisses that made Rose melt in his arms.

"I love you too," Rose gasped, her heart swelling. She felt his presence poised at the gateway of her mind, his vast impending storm held back from bursting over her, and she longed for the deluge.   She could almost hear his thoughts, their beautiful, jangled disorder, like distant chimes stirred by the wind.  If only she could bask in his fires until her loneliness and heartaches were all purged away — but no. This Time Lord, always hers, was not yet the one she would give herself to.  When would she find him? When, at long last, would the moment be right for them to lay down their arms and surrender everything but one another?

The Doctor pulled away, touching her lips with elegant fingers.   "So beautiful.  But always so sad— always walking away.  Perhaps that's what drives me to forget —that haunted longing, the cruelty of all I've withheld..."

Rose just stared, trying to imprint his passionate gaze into her brain, a joy to keep her going as she journeyed through the growing darkness.  It was so unfair — here he was, and hers to the core — but not the Doctor she was looking for. How many more times would she suffer this, meeting him, knowing him, leaving him behind?  How many times had it happened to him already?

"I'll remember you again one day—all you've meant to me, over so many lifetimes — and on that day, our bond will be complete." He was so near her thoughts that he must have heard her.  If only she could hear him just as clearly.  

Still, she recognized the sincerity, the promise in his level stare. Her Doctor always kept his promises.

He was warm enough now, so she helped him to his feet, gave him the energy bars to see his disdainful lip curl, and took one last, long, lingering kiss, before she turned.

"Walking away, again," he called.  "But not forever, Rose.  One day!"

Steeling herself, sealing his promise inside her riven heart, she walked away from him and pressed the button.

*

The sea wind whipped cold as she struggled to choose.

The man at her side leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"How could I have held you, and held back?" he said, velvety.  "I love you, Rose Tyler—"

She started back, staring into his eyes, and there was the many-lived creature she'd loved in so many guises — her Doctor — and today, because he'd promised, her bondmate.

She grabbed him with both fists, kissing him fiercely, swearing she'd never again let him go.

Behind her, another man sadly turned away, but her Doctor was steady and warm in her arms.

 

 

 


End file.
